I hate this, there's nothing else out there. Just meds or therapy, both haven't worked though i've been through years with them. Everything upsets, im very emotional. I can't keep doing this, definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results- feels like that.Trying so many meds and therapists just feels like the same thing over and over. Why am i torturing myself like this? For what just the rare occasion i feel happy when i hate this i fucking despise living im always scared im always angry or embarrassed. I'm so scared of people all they ever do is make me feel horrible, even the people good to me im so deeply insecure and ive done all the therapy stuff i know why im like this but nothing i do stops these feelings. Im just waiting for life to get better but it's my brain it makes me miserable i should have killed myself years ago why am i putting myself through all of this?I can't be with people or without them i can't do anything im incompetent