i’m a teen girl who recently (secretly) became atheist/agnostic from being christian my whole life. i have been suicidal the last 2 years and cannot accept the fact that the Holy God would let His people suffer so much. anyway, i’ve gotten addicted to something bad, and idk how to stop being addicted. i feel guilty all the time but can’t stop. i don’t have a God to turn to bc i refuse to believe. i know ill be sent to Hell, but honestly and idk why, i don’t care. i want my brain,. my mind, myself to be gone, forever. it’s so hard to stop being religious but now i have to pretend im christian and pray with my mom and go to church. idk how i will survive. i plan to kms, therapy hasn’t helped me. i also have social anxiety and no friends (online schooled, my choice) the only reason im alive rn is so i can get a job and help my mom pay for stuff bc we are poor. my mom is all i have. even she makes me want to d!E though,, quite often. i don’t even want to go to heaven. goodbye 🙁