i don’t know how to find the motivation or drive to do anything anymore because all i can think about is that i’m going to kill myself soon, why does any of this matter? my hygiene is shit, my teeth are yellow. my social life is non existent, i can’t get myself to talk to my friends and build stronger relationships. my sleeping schedule is horribly skewed, i gained so much weight it’s noticeable. i only put on makeup and go to school and go to work because other people do it too. i don’t feel human anymore. i don’t feel like im living. i feel like im dragging a dead body around and its really hard to dress it up to look alive. i just want relief. i have a few people that love me. i’m not living for myself, im barley holding on for them.
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