This world is some straight absolute bull. I lost my mother when I was only 9 years old, why, why me? Why anybody? I didn’t want to lose my mother, she was the only person in the world who I undoubtedly knew loved me no matter what, and now I have to walk ever day knowing that I don’t have that with me. And she’s not fucking “living on through me” she’s fucking dead, and she’s never gonna come back. No matter how many times I try to forgot it and just call it life, I can’t, I can never and I will never, it’s some straight bullshit. Some peoples biggest worries are if they can crash at their beach house for the night, why can’t that be my problem, why can’t me struggle be between choosing what to eat for lunch. I hate life, I hate living, I wish I could reincarnate into someone else, or at least something that isn’t so conscious, like a flower, or a plant of some sort, or even something like a cat. I’ve experienced the bottom of the barrel, and after allat, I still feel like a failure