being trans is the only thing that gives my life meaning, yet It's the worst thing i have to deal with. I hate that even when I DO feel pretty, i feel like i don't deserve it, like i'm being TOO confident. i have so much internalized transphobia too.. and i'm always breaking down in front of my girlfriend and she doesn't deserve to have to deal with my shit...i just wish i would do it already...I just hope it wouldn't take her too long to get over it