Whenever I think I'm getting better because of therapy, I see that all I'm doing is learning how to hide and block what i feel. And I've been rude to my sister, which I love really much, and it makes me feel so guilty because I don't wanna lose her because I did a mistake. And then, I'm also rude to my parents, which I already tried to stop. I don't wanna hurt anyone, but I do it involuntarily, because when I'm mad, I suck it up and bottle up everything up, until one random day, a tiny trigger pops that bottle and everything spills and I hurt everyone I love the most.