. today i want to unpack how i truly feel. i decided to end things, and though its not clear and confirmed yet, i want process my feelings that im dreading already, and just wait for the day it becomes clear and true. right now i feel fine, matter fact i feel kinda free? if that makes sense. because now that its over, and im less involved with him.. i feel less stressed. i dont have to worry about him oversleeping bc i get promised time and bond, idh to worry about him falling asleep and failing to do his tasks that is due soon, i dont have to worry about not being given attention and feeling bad after expressing myself and how upset i am. atleast i have control u know. thats what i think about. atleast i ended it on my terms. i was the one who had courage to walk away. and i know it would be inevitable for me to feel distraught later on, and im not denying that. i will let those feelings come crashing to me like waves, but for now, what i feel is this.