I’m such an awful fucking person. I blew up at her today. She said it was because I didn’t act like I wanted her around and she’s right. Why am I so fucking useless? I’m gonna block her and avoid her. She’s so much better off without me. Her other friends are so much more valuable, I know it, she knows it. They do too. I’m gonna cut my skin to shreds tonight. I’m gonna overdose on Prozac. I hope she is happy without me. I hope she knows how much I loved her. I really did love her. I love her too much. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll type out a suicide note and schedule it to send to her tomorrow. I’m so sorry Lilly. I’m so fucking sorry for hurting you. Please move on. Be better without me. You can have all my money and stuff. I promise it’ll be okay. Just take it. I love you. I wish you find a better person. No, there won’t be a void when I’m gone. I will never matter. I’m gonna take all the meds I have.