The lies that come out of my mouth the first thing I try to say when someone asks me something. I can't stop it, it's like a reflex. I've failed multiple classes but I just get the strength to say it. It's not a badge of honour to tell that proudly, but lying about it is not my way. I can't see people in the eye when I talk to them later, I'll scream internally to apologise and tell them the truth, but I just can't. I get anxious talking to anyone, I try to hide myself from people to avoid conversations. I've been feeling alone, depressed, anxious, terrified, extremely regretful and so much pain. It hurts so much how I just let it happen, knew this is how it'll end yet I didn't flinch or move. I just don't know anymore, I am stuck here. I can't quit but I can't make it. I pulled through last time and I really don't remember how I did it, it was so long ago and so many struggles before.