I'm in bed ready to sleep but I know tomorrow isn't going my way because I choose to sleep now like all the days before. I've made plans, schedules, intentions but it comes back to me not even beginning anything. I struggled all this way just to realise I've completely lost my ability to learn. I just don't have it in me, I'll just never be enough. I can't see myself if I let go but there's too much to do it get my life back in track. I just don't know anymore if I really wish to give everything up or I was stronger and acted at the right time. I just can't escape the thoughts of the past and move on. I'm unable to express myself, unable to study, unable to change, unable to forgive myself, unable to give up and unable to make it.