im gonna kms. i fucking hate myself. so much. i deteste me. i hate all of me. my thoughts. my body. my mind. one of my friends, like actual ones, said 'lowkey friendless' to me yesterday, it didnt hurt me tho i already knew that. i js told them its not even lowkey atp. its highkey. i have no friends. apart from them and m____e and z__i. z is 9. m is 15. i am 14. and the other one, a, is 13 but going 14 soon. ONE OF MY ONLY FRIENDS IS A 9 YR OLD. im so fucking lonely. i told a that they needa talk to someone and they said u do too and i said who and they said someone from school. i had to tell them that i tried. they js said 'we dont care'. i mean, i expected it, it still hurt shit but i mean. and in class there r 5 form my friend group but uh tables sit 4. so its js me on another table. and my 'class friends'. i literally have no one. like a is lit my fav person. im alive cus they are atp cus everyone else actually hates me. they dont. i think. or at least as much as everyone else.-f.g