It's suicide prevention month and it got me thinking a lot, I never rlly had a good support system and the one time that I came out n said that I wanted to die I just got yelled at for it instead of help and I think that shaped me for what I am today. I can't talk about emotions at all now and I'm suicidal still but I just keep it hushed now bc I rlly don't want to get yelled at again. But life sucks and I still think that maybe life would just move on if I did, I'm not special really and everyone already seems pissed off at me or just doesn't like me and it all just weights down on someone. It's always oh stop being so negative but it's constantly putting me down and shoving down any accomplishment I might have even if it's big and small and idk. Sometimes I wanna die like I mentioned about but sometimes I think to myself that it gets better and maybe life isn't that bad. I guess I'm stuck really --