Everyone has their battles. I know that. But I feel like I'm fighting a war. There's multiple fronts. The fight to be seen and loved and cared about. The fight to not hate myself. The fight to keep living even though I don't want to. The fight to believe in something and have faith when I feel completely alone. I don't think there's a word for how completely alone I am. I could stand in a crowded stadium full of people, and I could know every single one of them. I could care about each and every person. But I wouldn't be a single persons first pick. I wouldn't end up with anyone. I wouldn't end up in any groups. I would stand there, surrounded by masses of people, but still standing by myself. I don't think it's me. I don't think it's my fault. I try my best every single day to help others. I just don't think it's working.