I want to die my life is hell I was raped, sa'd, abused and beaten up at the age of 6 and under,I get punished for self harming, for attempting suicide, I'm lost, I have no friends never have I'm autistic and I have PTSD, trauma and ADHD , I get bullied a lot, no one cares about me, I get too attached to everyone and cry when they leave me I've cried too much I'm now numb to crying I want to cry I'm trying but I cant, I need meds to live slightly normal yet I cant have meds I can't even cry without being punished I want to die and I try but I'll just get punished more and more so I can't express my feelings apart from saying I'm fine and act all happy cuz I know I'll be happy I fucking hate everyone and my self I hope I sleep and never wake up even my birthday was the worst and that was the last ever b day I'm my life