My dad died this year and it wasn’t until today that I realized some of the impact it’s actually having. I’ve been putting distance between myself and the rest of my family, who I’ve always claimed were my number one value, and now I’m finding I’m acting like I don’t even love them anymore… the uninformed might even think I hate them. I don’t know how I feel about them anymore, and I no longer know myself if they are no longer the most important thing to me. I think I hate myself, not them. I’ve never hated myself before. It’s an uncomfortable feeling. Losing my father has broken me. I can’t figure out how to move forward.