why is it always like this why cant i improve even though i wnat to change why cant we afford a diagnosis and meds theres no way forgetting to eat and even things to do to prevent what worries me and causes my anxiety is normal, of course I want it to not happen just because we got preoccupied with trying to earn money and trying to deal with illnesses and hospital stuff and our relatives in the province and our family members asking us for help i forget to eat i forget to bathe i forget to do things everyone remembers parts of social interactiosn and etiquette and even when i try its unnatural sounding and they clock it anyway my health is going down and i constantnly try to bring it back up but i keep losing weight i keep forgetting what i was just doing i havent gone to college and i havent gotten a job and the people who offer me a job nearby home are gossipy and cause as much trouble as stress as they give to others confusing people why am i stuck with a brain like this why