i feel bad for telling my bf that i was gonna cook and it got late at night and he went to sleep, the food was cooling down and i think so much about him and that's why I'm so scared of being in this relationship because he says he can handle me but this is the stuff that makes me think and i just get so upset easily and i told him that i would stop lying and change but its me not wanting him to be upset. its probably not that big of a deal but i have GAD, so i struggle to sleep.. i wonder if he thinks the same way.. and I'm fighting with myself over stupid reasons on why i am upset with him also like i try to make him me like i want him to do the things i do. that's such a problem an i don't know what my purpose is like its a lot to type. like its so stupid and i want to give up but i know that's not how relationships work.. he told me that i said that id rather die than live like this but for all that he does for me its like not him its because i hate myself.