My entire life I've been striving for connections to people. Due to losing family and almost my dad, I try so hard for everyone to like me. Only for them to leave after only 3 or so years. I've never understood having childhood friends, I've never understood having a friend for now than 5 years. I feel like I've missed so many of life's experiences because of it. Now I'm trying to make friends since I'm always home since I graduated college. I got on a gaming app and have met decent people so far, but nothing deep, nothing meaningful. When I had a connection it felt like with this guy. He doesn't understand emotions while I feel all of them. I started opening up hard and fast, like i couldn't stop myself when I tried. It felt like the more he heard, the more he didn't understand. No one's ever "understood" me. No one tries. I thought we had a friendship going, now I'm scared he'll leave. It feels like everyone leaves me when I'm being myself or they stop having a purpose for me.