I'm so ugly I hate myself. I'm so depressed and mentally ill and it's so bad I wanna commit goodbye but I'm literally so scared of dying. I had a friend who kept telling me he wanted to try and commit s for a whole week and it was so bad for my mental health I started drinking to cope but he is OK now. I am not I hate watching my family get older it really fills me with dread. Nobody believes I'm mentally ill because my last diagnosis was when I was 12 and I'm 22 now but I haven't gotten help because it's a pain to go to the doctors office and what can my doctor even do? My sister tells me to get over it and everyone goes through it. My parents don't understand, I hate my brother, and I only have another friend that doesn't think I'm mentally ill because I'm housed. That friend also thinks I'm made of money but I told him my bad financial situation and literally all I have is the money saved from the time we worked together..