I broke up with my girlfriend. We have been together for a year and a few months, but I had never loved her. I was groomed when I was 7 and ever since then I can’t really express or realize my emotions, I just feel like a blank thing - no emotions at all. Recently though, my friend of 3 years went to jail and I had to report her. She was planning to murder a group of people, she had a gun and prints of their homes so she could break in and easily kill them. I couldn’t let that happen obviously, that’s so wrong. I felt devastated though, and I could realize that. I told the cops and gave all the evidence etc. But now that she’s gone I realize I think I had feelings for her. I had never wanted to sleep next to someone before or thought of someone when I heard a song saying romantic lyrics, but now that she’s gone I see her face in everything. Her nice laugh, her soft eyes. I never felt like that for anyone. Ik my girl deserves better, someone who will treasure her like the gem she is.