(mb this is stupid but this can't be left in the drafts again) Speaking hurts. I cant sleep without thinking about every conversation Ive ever had where I never learn to speak the right words at the right time. all I do is cry and sulk like a pathetic baby bitch. Its hard to do anything social without being on the verge of tears during or after. The worst part? Many times its infront of others so now they probably think I do this for attention and think Im pathetic too. I cant even go to my closest friends or find any sort of help without feeling like I'm a shit person, it will only make things worse, and/or everyone I know already hates me. I wish I could get something to fix me myself or even just a name for what's wrong with me so I know I'm not making things up. I was supposed to have fresh start but now Im back where I started, and it's only getting worse. I'm going die like this arent I? I hope its soon. Im so much of a coward that I can't even bring myself to do it.