this isn't necessarily out of goodwill or kindness, if anything it's almost maybe offensive but i wish i would've gotten sick and get all of the illnesses my relatives have instead of them. they have families to provide to, children to raise, dreams, and people worth living for. i don't. i don't have that sort of will to live. i would gladly accept a life-threatening disease and die if i had to. if some god gave a choice between living or dying, i would rather die. i don't have big dreams i can't see myself doing any sort of career, i'm a child out of wedlock and my mom has a perfect family w her husband and child. a family she's always wanted. i just don't feel like i fit in that (we don't live together anyway), im frankly speaking, unimportant. i would gladly shoulder all their diseases if it meant dying.