actually, i'm pretty happy my best friend (she's moved and now in a different far-off city near the capital) has found new friends in an entirely new environment it's just that i kind of feel like i'm the only one not really "growing" or developing. she's gone and hung out with her friends there shopping and just staying at their places but we've never done those when she was still around.😢 not that she hasn't hung out with her other friends in our place too, she has---it's just me who hasn't done most of those. 😢 i've just never been social or "welcoming" enough to actually go to another's house or invite them at ours (more like i wasn't really allowed to, js cuz we were a lil embarrassed abt our place) and i never know what to talk about. i also don't have a lot of friends that im as close with as my best friend so yeah it just kinda feels like self-pitying myself. "everyone's out there living a life while im being a socially anxious chud" man 😢