i feel so worried about my future, not because i'm going nowhere or i have no hope or whatever (senior this year btw). My family is pretty well off financially & I'm an only child, and I've got pretty good test scores (1320 SAT 32 ACT) so I think after I do some ec and write some good applications I'll get into a half-decent college. But I'm scared because I don't think I'm going to know how to be happy and I'm afraid I'll get into a mental rut and fuck myself up. I'm not necessarily suicidal, in fact I'm deathly afraid of dying and think about it more than I probably should really. But I'm bad with making friends and keeping in contact with friends, I'm not a social outcast or anything but I tend to isolate myself a lot. Im just afraid I'll do something irrational when I'm on my own in the future, honestly this is probably just a stress-fueled rant that I'll look back on like "tf was I on about" but this is how I feel right now.