Honestly is everything my boyfriend dad he mom he fucking brother it's where I live how I don't get to see my kids everyday or till them I love them and tuck them in . How I don't get to hear I love you mommy. That hearts my heart. But I hear that I'm a bitch and blah blah. And I just don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend I really do but at the same time I don't. I don't love him like I thought I would I miss my ex. I miss our life that I ruined!! He didn't do shit. I look back now and see what I did wrong and what he was trying to do. I should of helped more and stopped complaining at him about him not helping or the house need to ben clean . I should of stopped the bitching and helped him. I should of just helped better him. But instead I fucking ruined what I had. I had 10 years with the guy over that! Now I'm with someone who family hate me because I don't have a job. Or make money. I just miss my old life. I miss how it was with my kids with my family. I just miss myself....