I feel like i'm seriously lacking something. i've never had a crush or relationship and i love my friends but i've always struggled with the sort of friends i hear about online or in movies. if i made friends at church or an activity ill see them there and chat but we'll never hang out or meet up outside. whenever i go to events or meet ups sometimes ill get peoples contacts but what could i possibly say? we both like each other but not enough to bother them. its ridiculous id want someone to miss me or think about me when im not there. its simply logic that if i died suddenly maybe theyd be sad for a bit but move on after a week or so. i could possibly ask for more than that, its juvenile to want more. getting back to my first point ive never had a favorite color i didnt understand how you pick, always said red since its common and well liked. And ive never had any imagination literally and poor recollection. I feel like an cracked jar always wasting anything people bother to put in.