My family’s had a lot of health problems this year, from an Alzheimer’s diagnosis to cancer to brain surgery for a mass and chronic stomach illness. It’s been a never ending thing this year and I’m having such a hard time trying to process it or put it into perspective. I think I’ve been on autopilot, and while the worst of it is over, I’m so scared that something else is going to happen. I think about that a lot, and every time, I think: what exactly is it that’s over? I go back and forth from thinking about this year and it’s events so far as just a really bad time for me and my family or just life happening, bad stuff happening, like it does everyday for so many people. My family is starting to move on and I feel like I can’t. These events have really broken me down. I have struggled mentally in the past and I feel the same way I did then. I know things will get better with time but I’ve developed health anxiety that is kind of making it harder for me to relax. I just want to relax.