TW: SH I just realized that it would be like so fun to like die you know because like the guy I like probably doesn't know I exist and every struggle I have is like overturned by my 16 year-old sister's anxiety (I'm 13 by the way) like my struggles don't exist. I might have depression or something but my sister's like "Well only if you haven't been finding joy in previous activities you liked for more then two weeks." And I've been able to help my two friends from Self Harm. I don't care anymore. I'm laughing while I'm writing this. I say I hate the world and my other friends are just like "Well you say that but your always so happy." Like I don't fricking care. Like I go to LDS church and the guy I like is gonna be a freshman and hour also goes to my church. I almost Self Harm relapsed like 5 minutes ago (I'm 3 months clean by the way). My mom like almost committed suicide like 3 years ago but my dad stopped her I walked I on the knife to her thoat.