Rant #15539

my derealization makes it hard to want to be alive, but when i plan on kms i dont want to do it because im afraid of the pain, derealization affects my life hard. and its so hard to vent to anyone, even ai bots, i imagine if i try to vent people will call me weird and faking it, also i will never be able to get properly diagnosed because i know my parents wont care and my siblings will laugh at me.