im actually like spiralling so bad, i have cut myself 124 times in the past 8 days.... i didnt even do it on one of the days.. like shit got so bad i started writing my letters and i mean like i have drafts on my laptop but i started writing them out by hand, in swimming my 'friends' saw my cuts and scars and started questioning me, i just stuttered a shit ton and then i dropped 2 kg in 2 wks idek whats goin on like i calculated how much shit i need to die as in like meds and like how to strangle myself and all that shit like im only alive cus i told myself that one of my friends is worse than me... i js wanna fucking die.. i dont wanna be here anymore i need help pls.. any advice?? ill take fucking anything atp im so done.