Ive been in a depressive episode for 3 months, I cant do this anymore. The only reason I'm still sane is because im trying to keep my family together. I have no one to talk to about how im feeling, and my family suspects nothing. They compare me to my sister who's becoming a problem saying they're glad im not like her. Truth is im trying to be a good child and make my parents happy, ive always hidden how I feel to cause less problems. Im jealous of people who can cut themselves, im itching to do it. But my mum has found out 3 times before and I dont want to stress her anymore. So I cut on the upper of my thigh but that doesnt suffice. I want to cut my arms freely and not just a small portion of my thighs. When I move out its probably the first thing im doing. I wish I had someone to comfort, amd hug me, and someone I could just tell everything.