I want to die. Alone, isolated, no family no friends and not by choice. I tried ligature with my belt last year before Thanksgiving...not another unholiday(s) as I feel celebrating them just emphasizes I'm alone. Failed obviously. Passed out and as I did I can honestly say I was feeling at peace. Violently awoken, couldn't control my body, grand mal seizure due to lack of oxygen/blood flow later was found out. Lost bladder and bowel control. Neighbor in the building had called police because she thought someone was being beaten up. My eyes were so bloodshot they looked like cherries and my face was purple, belt mark around my neck...in short the first responders knew immediately. Carted off to a psyche ward for 3 weeks, refused medication...i worked in healthcare for 26 years...know the side effects. Played along, talked to the shrink and got the fuck outta there. I'm right back where i was. Don't need comments need a hug.