i fucking hate when people make me wait. it’s like i get reminded of every time i’ve been stood up after expecting something good from someone. maybe i should stop expecting anything from others because i know for a goddamn fact that they’ll always fail to deliver, they’ll forget, because things don’t matter to them as much as they do to me. everyone just speaks and makes a silent promise and fail to deliver, move on and forget, and act like everything is okay. i hate when people make me wait because i’m reminded of the fact that my competence is glorified because everyone else is incompetent. i can wait because i’m used to it. it’s exhausting to be the one with initiative. can’t anyone else move and be the one to take charge? to begin something without me having to take the first move? to plan and allow my brain to rest?