I cant understand. When I had a partner, attention from me was like honey to a bee. I do not care about a relationship. I do love you romantically. But I value our friendship that much more. I never considered how much I love you till I no longer had a friendship to focus on. It makes me mad i allowed myself to push my emotions down. As you slowly tried to pull me in. I was on a pedestal i asked to be taken down from. When confronted with that you didn’t realize you put me on a pedestal till I gave examples. My reads are always right. Until they aren’t right? You said I was smart the last time we talked. You know I dont claim to be smart. But i think that was the best compliment that you could come up. I know you love me. Your birthday is tomorrow. Somehow i know u wish I was apart of it? You promised to stop intentionally hurting me. You admitted to coming up with ways to hurt me so I would leave. I know i matter more than anyone. And that is scary