I genuinly dont want friends. They dont even notice me. The whole friend group is there, and then I just leave even when I say I have to go. I asked another one of my friends how to deal with grief since I recently lost my parents to cancer, and she just said "I dont know, but do you think these nails look cute? I think [another friend, her crush] likes them." I told her my parents died and she was like, "Okay, mood killer here. I'll just ask [same friend, same crush]" I dont even talk much in real life, which is okay for the friend group, but suddenly when I do talk, everyone wants to talk. Complete silence and calmness before I try recommending a nice restaurant nearby. I was interrupted by the same girl and guess who.. Her crush! They both talk about how they want the whole group to hang out guess where.. Alaska! It sounded fun before they told me only I have to pay for my own ticket since I'm "The Richest" in the friend group, when in reality, i just have a lot of jobs.