I acted so ridiculously back in school, like I owned the place and was some sort of genius mastermind, that I deserved to be bullied. Accepting that it was deserved is the hard part, that I was a prick. I remember walking in with 48 Laws of Power, I remember trying to flirt while looking all dischevelled and emancipated. I remember mistaking basic words when entering into arguments. I couldn't write, nor punctuate, nor spell well, yet acted as though the world was owed to me and I could just barge in with brute force. I was so embarrassing. I was creepy around the people that I was attracted to, which became a painful point of focus. A painful point of focus was how funny my lack of self-awareness seemed to the observing subject to me, the subject to be broken down and treated with indifference and schadenfreude. I eventually concluded I had a low IQ, or that maybe theory and things that require structure (including creation of beauty) isn't my forte, but it's pre-emptive.