i feel alone i don't know what I'm doing and i keep burning out working a dead end job just to make ends meet. I'm self isolating because i genuinely think the majority of people would be better off if i was gone. I'm a compulsive liar and i hate myself for it, nothing i do ever matters and i constantly attention seek, the world is shit, I'm shit, and honestly id sacrifice my life for a random stranger at this point, i cry every night because i'm scared, I'm scared to live, scared to die, scared to get too close to someone in fear that they will spill the secrets about the life I'm living away from my family, I'm scared to love again for all my relationships have been toxic, the last one broke me to the point i cant reach out for help without hating myself. its all my fault if i was just a bit better i could have changed things couldn't i? Im useless and better off hidden where no one can see me, i dont even remember who i am under all the different masks i wear to conform to standards