I constantly feel unmotivated and tired and disgusting every day. I never want to get out of bed and trying to make breakfast for myself and take care of my hygiene is so exhausting and I’m so insecure about it. My dad called me disgusting for the state of my bathroom, and I know he’s right, and I hate the state of it and I always want to clean but the action of cleaning drains my body physically. I constantly think I’m a failure at everything I do and I’m such a perfectionist even if most of the time I don’t care. I feel untalented. I feel average. I’m socially awkward and my friends probably find me annoying. I like cringy things and sometimes I wonder if I really embrace those parts of myself or if I really just hate myself. I’m going to get therapy soon because my mom is trying to help me, but I’ve never shared the deepest parts of my mental health like I am now. Nobody knows all this but me and I feel like I’m disappointing others by hating myself this much.