School has recently started again and I'm now remembering why I'm always at my lowest during the school year. I'm 2 weeks clean and I can already feel the urge coming back. I can already tell 7th grade is gonna be just as bad as 6th, 5th, and 4th grade. I feel like I can't just pick a struggle im too fat, too ugly, and even if I'm sorta smart there's always my friend who is smarter than me. Of course I like my friend and I don't have anything against her I just wish I could be her instead of me. I'm so antisocial and nobody likes me. I'm always the other one. The stress for grades is high too because I'm a 'gifted kid' since I was like in kindergarten. I'm expected to get 100's on all my tests and sometimes lie to others on what I got on my tests/quizzes. Its also hard to get out of my eating disorder from last year and even though I "recovered" I still only eat like 1000 calories a day. I feel like no one is gonna read this nor care but if you do thanks a lot.