copied from a discord message: i hate how every time i fail it makes every other task harder don't eat enough? drink enough? don't shower, don't get dressed? don't take meds? all those other things get harder. and if even one of those can't happen, then you can fucking forget about the level above that: going for a walk. doing laundry. cleaning your room. and if you can't do those things, that just keep you from backsliding, good fucking luck doing the stuff that will move you forward. i've never even seriously considered getting a job. i put myself through most of the hardest classes my high school offered but i never stayed in any extracurriculars except the queer group, which had fewer friends in it every year. i have less than a month before i move into college and i'm so unprepared. it feels like no matter how hard i try there is an inescapable chasm that only ever gets bigger as i fall. i know it's not true its not actually impossible but it sure fucking feels that way. -mormegil