I wish I had adult friend closer to my age I could talk to about this weird whatever it is relationship thing with me and my wife. I call her wife but we're not actually married yet I mean the whole thing is confusing both in reality and explaining it in faith based. I feel like I put so much effort already into this I thought her and i would have been talking again months ago or a year ago. Instead I feel like I'm just did so much work trying for this great thing and throwing my heart out there for a woman who wont even unblock me