i have autism, and have experienced burn out before due to masking, which basically means i feel really down all the time, and is similar to symptoms of depression. it's happening again, and i've been self-harming, like before. when this happened previously i ended up trying to kill myself, and im really scared it's going to come to that again. i feel like each day i feel worse, and there's no one i can talk to. i don't feel safe or in control and im scared. i have to go back to school in a few weeks, and i dont know if i can handle it. i only have one real friend, but i havent told them, because im scared theyll look at me differently. i used to be close with someone, and i told them part of it, but they told adults, and it didnt work out well. i dont know if i'll be able to survive school. i dont know how i will make it through without attempting like before. i feel so guilty, but i cant see myself living like this.