i feel like i'm a corpse rotting away day after day all the time the only thing i can do is stare at a wall it doesn't feel like i'm the one in control of my body or my mind i don't know anymore it's exhausting because i know nobody would even try to understand because my family is "loving". they wouldn't believe me if i told them i was doing horrible and nearly killed myself a month ago. they'd hate me. i don't want them to hate me. i just want somebody to talk to who wouldn't hate me. it's so pathetic and i can't do anything about it but cry why am i even like this? i hate that i'm alive, i hate that i'm too scared to try it again, i hate it all and i hate that i still depend on people despite how inhuman i feel just being like this on a daily basis. i'm still functional. i hate that too. maybe if i was disabled they'd take everything i take for granted.