I remember I was in the middle of a very long split. I saw everything as bad, I hated everyone. It was the afternoon, maybe 5? I don’t remember. I got dressed and went outside fully believing that I’d never look back. I walked into the woods, but then I remember freezing up and just standing there, thinking. I don’t know how long I stood there. But I cried. I cried because even if I did run away I wouldn’t find the kind of freedom I wanted so dearly. I cried because I couldn’t feel anything I touched anymore, or taste whatever I ate. I cried because I felt disconnected, like I was fake. I cried until my eyes hurt. And then I turned back. Is it bad to say I regret turning back? But, then again I don’t really regret it. I don’t really know how I feel anymore. But I do remember one more thing. I remember how pretty the sunshine was, how it peeled through the leaves. It was so beautiful.