i have lost all confidence in myself and im really struggling to find any reason to go on i can say im still going to college and "want" to graduate and find a job and all but really, i have no motivation left to do anything. like im pretty much ready to go anytime. to be quite honest, ive never been able to see myself in the future as anything. i don't see myself alive in future years. anything that i say or do ultimately feels useless and i just feel incompetent. my hobbies, likes, and dislikes all mean nothing to me anymore. i just wanna disappear. i wish i was never born in the first place.