...The design is coming together again and I am a watcher in the shadows. It's been like this for a long time. I am stronger and I know more than I used to. I'm connected to something ethereal and esoteric instead of something real or comforting. I sacrificed something and I think that humans can tell. People are afraid of me. One man said that I looked like I came from the depths of hell. I want to love a woman and be loved by her but I'm not like a prince charming anymore. I'm like a lord of forgotten libraries and knowledge that few can even comprehend. Has my gnosis separated me from my human soul? I just wanted to understand and now I can understand some things. I still want to be able to be loved though. Just to watch a movie with a woman and hold her in my arms would be a night I'd willingly sacrifice to be with her instead of reading another text of hidden knowledge.