I’m probably overreacting, and people definitely have it worse than me, but genuinely, I don’t know how to be in a good mood. First, people make fun of me because I’m quiet for no reason. I feel so bad at my hobbies, which makes me feel unhappy and jealous of people who are better than me at those hobbies. I’m lonely and have no one I can be real with, and even if I have friends, I feel like I’m just their backup, like it’s a sport. Nothing seems enjoyable. The problem is that I don’t fully know why I’m always in a bad mood. I don’t know if I’m just lonely, attention-deprived, jealous, or if I’m just being a bitch and need to get over it. I haven’t even grasped a single bit of dopamine. I talk about being lonely, but I’m still too shy to talk to people, and it’s been like that since around 5th grade and up. I feel like people are judging me even though they aren’t, and that makes me feel selfish at the same time. I just wish I was happier.