Sometimes, not sometimes but often, I just wish I could just go back into my past and fix the shit I've done and those who I ruined. Since back in 8th grade I had this friend group, some in the same grade as me and some a bit higher, we were at lunch just doing whatever and there I thought either it be cool or something, that I would cut myself in front of them. There one person ran off out of disgust and the very same day I ended up in a mental hospital. I don't even know what's wrong with me, but what I did was disgust and I can see why they ran off and told a teacher. I should even be alive over what I did, sometimes I wish I could just walk up to them and say sorry forever, though I'm afraid they'd tell everyone, the people who don't or didn't need to know I used to do self-harm, not even their sister, as she's a friend of mine and I'm scared ill lose her, and she'll tell everyone and there all be asked so many of the questions I never wanted to answer from the start