I feel really bad lately and Ive fallen into a depressive episode again. I have tried EVERYTHING to stop feeling bad. I have tried multiple antidepressants, I have tried different types of therapy and I have gone to the mental hospital for it. I can't help but hate myself and feel the urge to self harm again. I quit a month ago and started again. Since I was in the mental hospital though, since I'm a teenager, my parents have locked up everything dangerous I could use to hurt or kill myself away in safes. I went to the hospital recently and have been having suicidal ideations for three years. I fucking hate this. I don't want to be here anymore and EVERY DAY I wake up and do nothing because I can't bring myself to do anything else. It's tiring and it weighs down on me. I used to be happy on my pills and now it's like they don't work.