I've been feeling this guilt towards the people that I love. I hurted them so many times without saying sorry to them face-to-face because of my ego and I just can't say the word 'sorry'. When I did, it just makes me feel so weak and makes me want to tear up. But I actually keep saying sorry deep inside my mind, I keep thinking about the times when I hurt them with how i talk to them and how I treat them. It felt really bad, I feel like shit whenever I think of them. I wanna kill myself so bad, and as I keep thinking about it.. The facts that no one knows what I've been through when I'm alone is making me feel even more like trash. I've been through tough times recently, and I don't know where to go, where to be, and where to stay. I kept thinking and thinking if I should just ended it all here. But the thoughts of just cutting myself with a knife scares me. I'm just such a fucking loser. I'm sure I'll be living like this for the rest of my life because nobody deserves to life with me.